Hump Day 4/29/09

"...it would be a lot better if they called it 'HSIOW: Holy Shit! It's Only Wednesday!'"

- George Carlin

So here I am and it's Wednesday. Hump Day. I haven't yet gotten a Guilt of the Day out to you this week, although there's good reason for that. This week is just not my week, what can I say? Anyway, so as not to leave you in the void I'm getting this video out to you today... I needed a laugh today and I figured you could use one too.

Note: This video is potentially NSFW, so watch at your own risk!

There are better things to do at work than work

In the spirit of Earth Week I've decided that you should waste some time this Friday morning by watching these helpful environmental tips courtesy of the "Green Team" at FunnyOrDie.com

Guilt of the Day 4/22/09: Kindergartener Sent Home With More Than Homework In His Backpack

When I saw the handwritten note on the left I thought that the teacher who wrote it was referring to the kid. Honestly. Because, let's face it, some kids are little turds.

BUT NO... she was referring to AN ACTUAL PIECE OF SHIT that she found in her classroom and SENT HOME with the student to whom she thought it... uh... belonged.

Now I'm no child psychologist, but I feel pretty confident that sending a 5 year old kid home with poop in his backpack is going to screw him up for life. Just sayin'.

Check out the source link below for more on the story.

(source: KOMONews)

Have you ever had an unfortunate sharting accident in school? Share your anonymous confession with us at http://iamguiltyof.com

Guilt of the Day 4/20/09: Vegas TSA Officials = EPIC FAIL

Keep this in the back of your mind the next time you're hopping on a flight out of McCaren Airport: the guy sitting next to you may have checked a bomb on board. That's right, I said it: B-O-M-B.

Just when you thought those 9/11 Security Fees you've been paying for the last 7 years have been put to good use, it turns out that we apparently have some stupid motherfuckers working for the TSA. A U.S. Marine was arrested on Sunday at Logan Airport in Boston after it was discovered that he had an undeclared handgun in his checked luggage, along with "several boxes of 9 mm and 7.62 mm ammunition, three model rocket engines containing an explosive mixture, military pull-type fuses, switches, electronics kit boxes with various components, and a hand grenade fuse assembly with detonator," according to the article on Boston.com.

You might be thinking that I'm wrong - clearly the TSA was doing its job. Nope. This military man's sojourn in Boston was a LAYOVER. His originating flight was out of Las Vegas, NV, where apparently TSA officials were completely blind to the collection of guns and ammo in the man's suitcase. In fact, the only reason that this man's paraphenalia was discovered is that baggage handlers mistakenly sent his luggage to baggage claim rather than routing it to his connecting flight to Charlotte, NC. Were it not for that mistake, the Marine would have successfully transported a semi-automatic handgun, ammunition for said handgun, and all the fixin's necessary to build a homemade explosive device across the U.S. without being detected.

Homeland Security my ass. I want my tax dollars back.

(source: Boston.com)

Why Be Productive at Work When You Can Just Look Busy Instead?

There are some days when I'm really productive... you know, days when I get actual work done as opposed to the days when I look busy but am not actually doing anything. I'm thinking today is going to be a look busy day, and I'm taking you all down with me.

Check out this video, won't you? I love SuperNews and if you haven't seen their stuff then I'm going to have to ask you to spend the rest of today watching their videos, mmmkay? That would be super.

Guilty Pleasure: Tailgater Portable iPod Dock

I have an iPod dock at home, but I'm going to level with you: it's pretty small, and its output is not great. I don't have all the technical specs on it, but suffice to say that I had to plug it into the Aux input on my regular sound system in order to get decent sound out of the thing.

That's why the Tailgater, from Ion Audio, looks like something I've just got to have. It looks like a guitar amp with an iPod dock built into it, which to me (a musician) is pretty cool in and of itself. I won't go too much into the specs, but the selling points for me are the heavy-duty construction (so it won't break when I inevitably drop it), built in carrying handle, and built in 8 hour battery with level indicator (so I always know how much juice I have left).

The only downside for me is the $200 price point, since I could most likely hook up my current iPod dock to the line input on a similarly sized battery powered amp for much cheaper - but, the reality is that I'm just too lazy to do something like that, and it wouldn't look nearly as cool as the Tailgater when I'm blasting Debbie Gibson tracks on the Jersey shore this summer.

(source: iLounge)

UPDATED - New Feature: Like It? Fave It.

Hello there friends. We've added a new feature to iamguiltyof.com: Faves, short for favorites is a way for you to vote for the confessions that you like best.

From now on when you see a confession you like, you can fave it by clicking the "fave" link that appears below the "comment" link.

If/when this whole fave thing takes off we'll be adding a listing of the most popular confessions based on your votes to iamguiltyof.com.

That's all for now... start fave-ing your favorite confessions now!

Update: In response to some users' feedback that there's no way to mitigate fave-happy users, we've implemented an "un-fave" link (next to the "fave" link) so that users can vote down confessions that they don't like. The "un-fave" link will only appear when a confession has 1 or more faves.

Guilt of the Day 4/15/09: File Under: You Can't Make This Shit Up

Mothers take note: beware the next time your kid threatens to bust a cap in yo' ass if you don't give them $2. They're probably not kidding.

A guy by the name of Fred Bertrang slashed his mother with a knife and then proceeded to fire several rounds from his AK-47 into her leg because she wouldn't give him $2 for cover at a bar. Hasn't this guy ever heard of pan-handling? Taking advantage of his friends? Getting paid for oral sex down at the truck stop? I'm sure some combination of those three things could have gotten him his $2, without the need for firearms.

Sadly, our dear friend Fred lacked the good sense to hob some knob for $2 and instead decided it was a better idea to inflict harm upon others. I can relate. Last week one of my co-workers was making this really annoying sound with his fingers on the keyboard before I'd finished my coffee, so I picked up my letter opener and stabbed him in the eye until he stopped moving. Actually, I'm just kidding - the annoying sound part never really happened.

(source: JSOnline)

Guilt of the Day 4/14/09: Couple from Norway Multitasks

You know, often times when I'm driving in to work I think to myself "I could be doing more right now." Unfortunately, it hadn't occurred to me until now that I could be copulating (with someone other than myself) while driving.

Apparently DWF, or Driving While Fucking, is no longer the stuff of cinema nor legend — and it can get your license revoked. A couple from Norway was pulled over after officers observed the car "driving erratically" and speeding. I can imagine that having your girlfriend's ass bumping into the steering wheel repeatedly will lead to some "erratic" driving.

Anyway, after filming the sex act taking place for "evidence" (yeah right, $10 says those cops have already made copies for all their buddies), police officers pulled the couple over and immediately suspended the license of the gentleman who was operating the vehicle. Must have been a lady cop. A male cop would have given the guy an attaboy and sent him on his way, unless the female passenger was the cop's wife... but if that were the case then the story probably would have been about two missing Norwegians last seen DWF on the highway.

(source: CNN)

Linkage for 4/7/09

Editorial Note: Linkage is a day late due to technical difficulties yesterday. Click here to find out what we did about those technical difficulties.

While driving home from somewhere Friday night my wife pointed out that I'm a fan of the white rap genre of music. She said this, of course, after hearing me sing along to Cake's "The Distance" and whatever the new Incubus single is. Now, I don't know about you but I'm pretty sure that neither Cake nor Incubus is considered rap, but I've learned a lot about life in the 5 and a half years that I've been married. So, I'm a fan of white rap.

Speaking of white rap, I was going to make Eminem's abomination of a music video the subject of a Guilt of the Day post today, but it looks like Gibbs over at Yep Yep has beaten me to the punch.

Here is your Linkage for today... enjoy!

Reminder #1: Put your phone on vibrate when you get to work. Reminder #2: Don't throw shit at your co-workers (9 to Fried)

Andy Samberg should probably do some research in the "Where Are They Now?" section on Jaime Kennedy... (AfroJacks)

It's OK, you can watch these Wrestlemania vids without admitting that you're a fan and don't really believe that wrestling is fake (HHR)

We need some truth in advertising, especially when it comes to strip clubs (Blog of Hilarity)

Looks like somebody had an accident (Mac G's World)

That. Is. All.

Century Club Update

Well, I know you've been waiting for a while for this, so here it is - another Century Club update. Okay, really we know it's just another excuse for us to geek out with Google Analytics, but we'll take whatever excuse we can get.

First and foremost, we'd like to welcome 3 new members to the Century Club: Makati, PH, Dallas, TX, and Nottingham, UK. Applause all around. Washington, DC, Bromborough, UK, and Cambridge, MA are all knocking on the door but not quite there yet.

To date, we have received visits from people in 1,580 cities located in at least 61 different countries around the world.

So, as it stands now here are your top 10 cities based on the number of visits that come from those cities:

1. New York, NY (335)
2. Makati, PH (216)
3. London, UK (214)
4. Philadelphia, PA (212)
5. Dallas, TX (139)
6. Nottingham, UK (113)
7. Washington, DC (91)
8. Bromborough, UK (89)
9. Cambridge, MA (86)
10. Phoenix, AZ (69)

Congratulations to the new Century Club members, and to all the cities that made it to the Top 10.

Coming Soon: The iamguiltyof.com API

Hey there!

Hope your weekend is going well. Just dropping a quick note to let you know that we're currently working on a RESTful API for iamguiltyof.com. If you're a developer and you're interested in working with the API once it enters the closed beta, please drop us a line at info@iamguiltyof.com to let us know that you're interested.

Linkage for 4/3/09

Holy crap the weather is bad out there. And my lunch needs salt. I'm going to try to get this one in before the lights go out. Here's your Linkage for 4/3/09:

Top 50 Funniest Vanity Plates of All Time (Man-o-fest)

Hi, what are you doing after I keep this baseball from killing you? (Busted Coverage)

Baseball maladies that are more plausible than Donrelle's "Anxiety Disorder" (Splog)

*NSFW* Here's how you handle those pesky IE6 users (Design You Trust)

By far this is my favorite April Fool's Day prank video (SMP Films)

Peace Out.